Many persons in history have decided to revise their memoirs, so I have decided to reconsider my curriculum vitae too. I submitted my handwritten memoirs in 1992, but because of lack of time and my limited intelligence, most of it was based on invented fabrication (Guten Tach. Auf Wiedersehn. Mein Leben, Teil 1). Now it’s time to put things straight.
Excerpt: »I don’t know where to start. Let’s try this: there is a downpour over Cologne. I’m at the barber’s looking at different hairstyles on a computer. As usual, I can’t find anything. The barber has a protruding thumb from cutting so much hair. As a celebrity (it’s 1993 and I’ve just composed Katzeklo), I have to pay attention to the way I look. But I can’t make a decision. All these hairstyles already exist, I’m only interested in extravagant curiosities. My mistake, but that was how things were at the time. The famous film producer John Fichteshymer (name changed) then enters the salon and recognises me because I was on TV the day before. On famous Biolek’s cooking show. An amazing programme where I met the great comedian Fips Asmussen, who told me four jokes. They went like this…«
